Married Fat and Happy…

Last night we had dinner with someone who’s about 10 years our junior, single, and a bit of an exercise nut. He expressed his belief that people who don’t exercise wind up fat, with high cholesterol, high blood pressure and impotence. He even went on to say how I should read his blog because there were pointers for people who didn’t know how to exercise.

Well, I do know how to exercise – learned that in college when I participated in a study by the Department of Kineseology. Went on to do quite a bit of weight lifting and had a great body… I know how great exercise can make you feel – been there, done that…

Me in Bermuda 1991Photo of me by Stanley Stellar

But in my case I had high blood pressure even back when I was in great shape – stuff like that isn’t just about exercise. In my case a lot of it had to do with all the internalized angst of growing up gay in a fundamentalist family. Internalizing all those feelings is probably the reason I’m hypertensive.

Then I went through a couple relationships where I gained weight. In the first relationship my boyfriend turned out to be poz (he didn’t tell me), and I was caring for him while trying to keep my head afloat financially. Just before he died I’d come home from the hospital and eat most of a big Entenmann’s coffee cake as comfort food. I lost a little weight after he died and then got into a rebound relationship pretty quickly. It wasn’t an equal relationship and I was pretty much supporting him and the financial stress lead to more weight gain…

About the time I decided to end things with my boyfriend I went back to the gym and got a trainer/nutritionist. Here’s me in losing weight between September 31, 1996 and April 1, 1997…

September 1996 - fatDecember 1996 - losing weightApril 1997 - in great shape

I went on to look even better, but the point is I know my way around a gym. It’s just I chose not to go anymore.

But you know what? I’m just as happy now as I was back then – possibly happier. I’m literally “married, fat and happy”. Unlike the previous relationships, my relationship with Dan is one of equality. There’s a degree of security that comes with all that. I’ve also sorta opted out of the whole mentality that says you have to be in perfect shape to be worthwhile and happy. I don’t feel like I’m any less attractive than I was back then – it’s just my appearance is different (more like the first pic body-wise, but looking more like a “daddy”). In a way I feel like my appearance is age appropriate.

Just like it’s not what you drive, but how you drive it, it’s not whether you go to the gym, but whether your at peace with your body. Start by opting out of the whole body conscious mentality. If you still want to go to the gym – great. If you don’t, that’s fine too… Just be happy with your life on your own terms…

NYC: The best place to be in an accident…

You may have heard about the US Airlines plane that crashed in to the Hudson a bit over an hour ago. Dan actually noticed the roar of the plane as it flew low over us (which is a bit scary).

While you don’t want things like that to happen, if it was going to happen it couldn’t have happened in a better place. Passengers are reporting that by the time they had the front doors open on the plane there were NY Waterway ferries waiting for them with their front ramps down. Apparently they were able to walk out of the plane into the ferry. To me that’s absolutely amazing.

But it wasn’t just ferries, the NYPD and FDNY are one of the best trained emergency responders anywhere, and they’re equipped for water emergencies with fire boats, police boats, divers, you name it. And there’s the Coast Guard which always trolls the waterways here. The only downside about it happening in New York was how cold it was today – about 20°F when the crash happened.

The ironic part is that the jet was flotsam, not jetsam. [Flotsam are things that float in the water, jetsam are things that sink.] And the morbid part of me wonders whether US Airways is going to start advertising free ferry service when you get to your destination…

Don’t People Die In A Crossfire?

I’ve never understood Chrysler’s deciding to name a car “Crossfire”. I mean, don’t people die in crossfires? How many times have you heard a news story that said “XX people died in a crossfire today in YY”… So why would you name a car after something where people die? I just don’t get it…

Nice looking car though…

Chrysler Crossfire

Excellent video on the foreclosure crisis

Somewhat thankfully New York has been spared from much of falling home prices that have been affecting other parts of the nation. The value of our apartment has been flat for 2-3 years now, which is much better than the 30%/year declines in other places. With the crisis on Wall Street, who knows how long that will continue, but it’s shocking to see videos like the one below about how bad things have gotten in California…

What’s amazing is how much of people’s lives are being thrown in landfills – how they walk away from just about everything – even huge flat screen TVs. It’s sad that the charities don’t have their act together to take advantage of the opportunity and fill their warehouses with the household goods and clothing that people are going to start to need in an economy like this.

The country desperately needs a change in leadership. Let’s hope the leaders we elect in a month are up to the task.

Vote for smart people

I saw an interview yesterday with Sarah Palin that made me rethink who she is… Up ’till now the coverage of her has been all of her mistakes – not knowing what the Bush Doctrine was, saying she’s qualified in foreign affairs because you can see Russia from Alaska, etc (see video). Saturday Night Live has been having a field day with her and their sketches are funny in part because they’re playing off what’s true. I’m sure you’ve seen it all by now, so there’s no need to repeat it.

The interview video I saw yesterday (below) puts her in a different light. She’s much less of the dumb bimbo that she’s been portrayed to be and more of just an average person – sorta a “Mr. Smith goes to Washington” sorta character…

Seen as a whole she’s not quite the idiot she seems in short clips. But she’s no brain surgeon either… And that’s sorta my point. She’s just an average person. We’ve been there and done that with George W. and look where it’s gotten us. Average people just don’t have what it takes to be President and the actuarial tables make it clear if McCain/Palin get elected there’s a decent chance she will wind up as President.

We need smart people running the country, and Palin’s not particularly smart. The problem is that her not being smart appeals to a certain class of people. When I was growing up I was always one of the smartest kids in the class (in an academically competitive school). Thing was my parents didn’t appreciate being smart. I’d bring home a report card filled mostly with A’s and a few B’s and they really didn’t care. Mom has even gone as far as to tell me that my intelligence is a problem – that I’ve used it to come to the wrong conclusions – ones that are in opposition to the Bible.

So that’s what we’re dealing with here… Big parts of the US don’t want smart people running the country. They want good ‘ol boys (and girls) who don’t think too much. They want loyalty and people who agree with them on what they consider their “values”. Well, we’ve done that, and it’s gotten us to the brink of our country’s second great depression.

You see the problem with intelligence is that it won’t let you live in a fantasy land. Intelligence requires you to think about whether you can afford your mortgage after the rates adjust. Intelligence requires you to think about what happens after you “win” a war and are in control of a country. Intelligence requires you to think about what the real value of a deriviative security is before you buy it. In other words, intelligence questions the basics and makes you ask whether your premises are in line with reality.

We need intelligence in our leaders. This isn’t a liberal/conservative thing. I’d vote for someone like George Will over a dumb liberal any day. The thing is that neo-cons which control the Republican party think in faith-based ways. Quoting their bible – “faith is the substance of things hope for, the evidence of things not seen”. In other words, faith is saying there is proof/evidence when there is none (i.e. saying there are weapons of mass destruction when there are none, or saying the economy is “fundamentally strong” as it’s collapsing and looking like the beginnings of the second great depression).

So, vote for smart people next month – we need them more now than ever before… Which means, don’t vote for Sarah Palin – she’s not the complete idiot people are making her out to be, but that doesn’t mean she’s smart enough to run the country…